Heartburn

Friends,

*Exhale* It has been quite the few days past, let me tell you. You see below a couple of posts from other interns and their experiences. I couldn’t be more thrilled for them and love how God has been blessing their willingness and humility (two things I feel are lost among people of known spiritual authority and leadership). As it is though, God has poured Himself out on them and I look forward to seeing just how God is going to continue revealing His love and heart to them this summer! The others are having differing experiences as well, some have been challenged, others broken, others affirmed, etc. I myself am simply coming to a point of desperation. I was privileged to share much of my journey with this group last night, but I do even so feel His call to go deeper. I want to know my Lord’s heart. I feel that, though I know His thoughts sometimes and though our relationship is intimate and personal, I cannot recognize His heart when it is before me. This has truly brought me to my knees these past few days. Pray for this. I am heavy. I know His calling for me, but I feel His desire to show me something I have never known before and I am terrified. I am glad for this discontent, but am impatient with His revelations (I know you sympathize). I know He has placed this desire to see His heart in me, and with that I know He will not disappoint what He Himself wants to see happen. I want to see His heart… whatever it may be... and soon. Even so, I rejoice at being in His presence even now.

*Inhale* God is good. The training went very, very well and I was reminded of so much that the circumstances of the past five months had dulled in my life. I am excited to be going through everything in the midst of so many others who want to wrestle in prayer and conversation with me. The Lord has truly been living and active among us thus far. Tomorrow we depart for Kearney, Nebraska. It’s finally time. As of 72 hours from now we will be in Wyoming looking at our first day of employment. We’re leaving at 6:00am and will have a bit of a leisurely excursion out. Pray for our safety and sanity in travel. Many wonderful and challenging conversations can be had in nine ours of confined space and I have no doubt that the Holy Spirit will be seeking to build unity and intimacy in even such a way. That being said, I am even more certain that our enemy will be seeking to build division and isolation throughout as well. I am praying for patience and discernment in all things, keeping in mind the joy of this company and continuing to ask the Lord to reveal to me what He wills. I know that I get rather irritable when I do not understand things, my mind and heart are both at a place of loss right now in all honesty. I trust Him to reveal what He wants me to see in His timing, yet I must remain content with His gentle guidance in the moment as well. Many of you reading this know that is a huge challenge :D, but it will be good. Thank you for your prayers, friends. Keep them rising and alighting on the ear of our wonderful Lord. May He continue to look favorably upon us. May we continue to seek His face and long for His glory. I thank Him for you even now. Press on.
*Sigh*

In Him,
Greg