About as "Emergent" as we get...

Dear all,

Within just a couple of days, we'll be merging this blogsite with the www.wyominginterns.blogspot.com site in order to more aptly and efficiently communicate the various experiences we are all having out here. Thanks for following us here. We hope that you choose to follow, comment, and continue to encourage and support us through the rest of the summer. We'll be posting just as regularly and just as authentically still, just at a new address and in joint with the other interns we're living and growing with. Press on!

-Greg

Heartache

*sigh*

It's about 3:00am where I currently am, and I have had an enduring pain in my soul for several days now. I truly wish I knew how to be rid of it, but clearly such relief is not meant for the present moment. I do not know what is next in my life right now... I suppose that is in itself a very good thing. Work in the mountains never gets old (though this heartache does), and I continue to experience a new brokenness for/in my generation nearly every day. I wonder anymore if this pain is nothing more than a distraction... something to keep me chasing my own hopes and whispered prayers into darker and darker, more secret corners of my life instead of simply spewing them into the air and being rid of the heaviness so often befalling my heart. Somehow my voice is bound and unable to share these things with those around me... I am free with only a few people and there have found no resolution.

I don't know what to do. In all honesty the one thing that comes to mind is weep, and as experience has proven before, that doesn't help. I work among people who not only reject the spiritual nature of their lives, but thwart it, starve it, kill it. They drown the cry of their existence in soulish desires and fruitless experiences. All I really want is some honesty right now I think. I'd like to have an honest and genuine conversation with someone about life in general, but alas, most often what comes from the mouths of those around me are lies bathed in alcohol and caressing flatteries laced with self-interest. Those that I love the most seem afraid to share what they are truly going through, as if vulnerability is something I do not respect and protection is not my most natural and fiercest passion. I truly crave honesty more than anything else right now. Other than that (Perhaps even because of that), I am exhausted. My heart is nearly dehydrated it has wept so often in the last week. My mind feels flat for trying in vain to figure out how such lifestyles as I see are appealing or desired at all. My body wonders when it'll enjoy a normal sleep cycle for just one week's time. My spirit sees the many needs and calls in earnest for authentic and holy help, only to see the enemy sweep in and provide a distorted and shallow solution to eternal problems. All that to say, I ache, and I don't know the nature of the sharpest, deepest tear in my heart, which is perhaps more frustrating than it anything else.

-Greg

By God's Grace.

Goodness. My first post. Where to start...

This past december, God definitely dropped this opportunity to learn more about Him on my lap. From about Februrary to just a couple weeks ago, I became discouraged by plenty of things (mostly being financial reasons) and wondered if He was really the one behind it. One night while talking to a few friends in the room, I finally felt affirmed that God put me here. I also feel that he was testing me to see if i wouldn't back out like i wanted to so badly, but by His grace, i am at peace, and things are working out. Thank you and praise God for all who prayed and are still praying for me.

It's been an interesting few weeks for me here, still dealing with the job schedule being changed every now and then, finally getting longer shifts, meeting plenty of new people and hearing bits and pieces about their lives, learning more about God and listening to Him and learning to discern His spirit, learning what it means to work in the body, and so much more. Getting to know God more and learning more about my identity in Him makes it easier all the time for me to refuse past habits and what distorts and distracts from Him. It's a process for sure, and it definitely takes submission without expectation, and complete faith and trust that He will provide and He will lead and guide you. God has been blessing me so much through love and care from the body, wrestling with what i've been taught to believe versus what the Holy Spirit wants me to know and learn, and overcoming it all by God's unfailing love and grace. I've been witnessing so much of His beautiful creation here on the earth, but i've also been witnessing His creation on a spiritual level, and it's good. He's teaching me so much, and it's been awesome to digest and test it in my own life, and i know there is so much more. Thank you again for your prayers and i love you all.

-Ray

Whew... 17 days in.

Dear Friends,

I really don’t know where to begin this. It’s about 1:00am here (meaning 3:00am for most of you) and I’m definitely quite awake. Working the overnight shift affects quite a few daily habits and seemingly natural actions, haha. God has been gracious the past week, and I thank you for your continuing prayers. As a team out here, we are in no comfortable place of rest. Our intentionality for spiritual warfare is daily and constant. There have been numerous persecutions of our people’s faith by co-workers. It’s not anything I’m used to at all. In all things, God is good, and He has daily brought me into His presence and several times allowed the briefest glimpse of wonder at His glory. He knows what He is doing and every single person here is His son or daughter. Pray for them.

Our extended training sessions have gone fairly well since we left Missouri. Though our schedules have not always been the most workable with each other, God has provided and the Holy Spirit is moving among us and teaching us as we need to learn. We are still learning the nature of a unified body and what it means to minister with each other. The enemy is also hard at work here. Even in the last minute of writing these paragraphs, a co-oworker of mine approached my table and questioned my integrity in the presence of all the employees in the recreation hall. The Lord Himself is my defense, even though right now after such a interaction my hands are trembling and my heart is racing. Pray against the enemy, this will not be the last of such accusations. The nature of my heart and passion for this generation rests in the purity of my love for them. If the enemy can mar that or bring a notion of insincerity to it, then He may as well have taped my mouth shut. My peers and people here watch, and they watch with the presumption that there must be a catch. Pray for my protection and wisdom in every situation. I know He will provide.

My hands have stopped shaking now *exhale,* and I guess in light of this most recent experience all I can do is ask that you continue to pray as the Lord lays us on your heart and with the specificity that He allows you to perceive. I love and miss you all.

Humbly,
Greg